With Every Fiber Of My Being (One Shot)
by AngelicFiend
Summary: Super Massive Smut Alert! Hayniss. Mildly twisted. When Katniss goes over to Haymitch's, who would have thought that an innocent challenge would turn into the most passionate, meaningful moment of her life? Rated M for graphic sex scene and slight insinuation of mental illness.


It had been six days since I had left my bed. Why should I? If I did, I'd probably be asked to start another Revolution. People had been trying to convince me to revolt since I was twelve. Gale started it. Gale finished it. He killed Prim. Peeta was hijacked because of him. I became a fire mutt because of him.

I never thought I could hate as much as I hated Gale. Gale, my best friend who killed indiscriminately because he hated the Capitol. He wanted to see the Capitol fall. Instead he saw it reborn. He now lives like a hermit in the woods outside district 2. Or so I hear.

I tentatively place one foot outside my sheets and onto the floor, half expecting a pod to go off. My next foot follows. I'm only in a thin tee shirt. It was a warm day. I didn't bother getting into something else. I walk slowly, as if in a trance down the stairs and out the back door. I cross the lawns that separate my house from Haymitch's. He is the only one I can talk to. The only one who doesn't look at me with sympathy.

I don't bother to knock. There was no point. I don't care. And neither did Haymitch. He wasn't in the kitchen, but there was a half empty bottle of white liquor on the table, and I decided to claim it as my own. I sat on the edge of the table and took a long draw from the bottle. Something so flammable seemed appropriate for the Girl On Fire. I shudder at both the thought and the strong, pungent taste. I feel the alcohol burn as it slowly made its way down my esophagus to my stomach, coming to rest in a warm pool. I took another draw from the bottle just as Haymitch walked into the room. It was more bearable this time.

"You right there, Sweetheart?" Haymitch asked, a slightly drunken drawl escaping his lips.

I ignore him and take another draw from the bottle.

"You know, if you are gonna drink my booze, the least you can do is talk to me." He says moving a little closer.

I laugh and decide to speak. "I plan on drinking a lot. Whats the most I can do?"

The very last thing I expected was for him to kiss me. I was shocked still for a moment. Why was he doing this. Then I realized I didn't care. It seemed right for Haymitch to kiss me. He had been there for me through so much. A constant. He supported me, put me in my place when I needed it. He wasn't afraid to tell me if I was being too pig headed or not pig headed enough.

I kissed him back.

Haymitch's kiss was like none of the other kisses I had had.

With Peeta, it had been both forced, then innocent.

Gale's kiss had been angry, possessive.

Haymitch's was filled with caring, understanding, and an emotion still rare to me... Passion.

I let my arms wrap around his neck. It felt so good to be close to someone like this again. I felt his tongue trace my lips and parted them granting him entrance. I felt his tongue dance in my mouth sending small tremors through my body. Unconsciously I arch my body into his, feeling his already growing erection press into me. A small moan escapes me.

His kisses move up my jawline, he softly sucks on my earlobe.

"Fuck Katniss, what are we doing?" he whispers to me.

"Don't stop. Whatever it is." I feel like my whole body will explode if he stops.

This causes him to groan, his lips now on my neck, softly sucking at the flesh. Goosebumps breakout over my skin. My hands begin to roam over his body. It wasn't firm and muscular like Peeta's, but soft, welcoming. The years of torture hadn't been kind to Haymitch. But the few years I had been involved with Capitol affairs hadn't been kind to me either. We were both mutts in our own ways. A mutt made for a mutt.

His hands are now on my bare legs, moving over the scarred skin, causing small mewling sounds escape me. I had no control over myself anymore. It was almost as if I was outside my own body watching the whole scene unfold.

A wetness between my legs came to my attention for a moment, but I was drawn away from the distraction as Haymitch's lips moved over my collarbone.

I reached down to his shirt buttons, fumbling for a moment before giving up and ripping open his shirt, scattering button across the kitchen. I let my fingers travel across his chest, through the thick mass of blondish brown curls. I ran my hands down his chest to his stomach, feeling the scar from his own experience in the Games. I run my finger along the line of the scar, the lumpy ridges making my fingertips tingle. Haymitch freezes.

"Does it hurt still?" I ask in little more than a whisper.

"Yes. But not in the way you think." his voice is as quiet as my own.

"I know what you mean." I look down at the patchwork that used to be my legs.

Without hesitating, I lift my shirt right over my head, exposing my scarred body to him. Reveling in turn, my soul to him.

"You are beautiful, Katniss Everdeen. The most beautiful, stupid, brave girl I have ever met." I almost laugh at him. Instead I raise my hand to his cheek, drawing his lips back to my own.

I hadn't realized I wasn't wearing a bra until I felt the palm of Haymitch's hand on my breast, rubbing softly against my nipple. I gasp, the totally unfamiliar sensation cause all manner of different feelings to course through me. I feel him press closer to me, his now fully erect maleness separated from me by my thin underwear and his trousers. I wrap my legs around his waist and rub up against him, feeling the hard length through the clothing, causing all manner of sensations to rush through me. I moan again into his lips.

Haymitch lifted me from the table, his lips never moving from my own and carried me up the stairs, laying me down on his bed. It was right here, right now, that I realized I had never wanted my first time to be with Peeta, perfect, innocent Peeta. Nor with Gale, the one who as much as I hated him still knew me best of all. It was this arrogant, pig headed, stubborn, infuriating man who I wanted to have me. Not for any of those reasons, but because he _knew._ Peeta had done the games, been tortured, hijacked. But he still didn't understand. He was still so innocent. Haymitch understood. He had been the Capitol's tool, just as I was Coin's tool. He was the face of murder.

I reached between us, fumbling with his belt and pants, finally getting them undone. He rolled off of me to remove them as I removed my own underwear.

He rolled onto his side and looked at me, devouring me with his eyes.

"Do you really want this Sweetheart?" There was no sarcasm in his pet name for me this time. He was sincere. "Because once I start, I don't know if I will be able to stop. I need to know this is what you really want."

I had never seen Haymitch be so tender. I just nod, a lump in my throat.

Haymitch moves himself so he is positioned in top of me, his maleness slowly sliding up and down over the now slick fold of my femaleness causing my whole body to buck and shake.

He reaches between us and positioned himself at my opening. "This is going to hurt, Sweetheart, but I promise it bets better."

I nod and he slowly eases himself into me.

At first all I felt was pleasure, I had no clue what he was talking about. Then I felt the resistance, and then a burning pain. I gasped and a tear rolled down my cheek. Haymitch kissed my lips, then kissed the tear away, staying still inside me.

"Tell me when the pain is gone okay?" he says softly, stroking a hair out of my face. He runs his hand over my cheek, down my neck then cups my breast, running his thumb over my nipple. I moan and my body jolts from the sensation, Haymitch moving deeper inside me from my movement. I notice from this alone, that the pain is gone. It had been replaced with a pleasure until now completely denied me.

"I'm ready." I say with a small smile.

He started of gently, making small slow thrusts inside me. I wrap my arms around him and hold him tight to me.

"More." I say, my voice husky. "I need you, please!"

Haymitch picks up the pace, moving both faster and harder,his member hitting something that sent shock waves like a small earthquake through me. Something starts to build in me. I cant explain it. Everything in me grew tense.

"Let go baby... Please. Come for me..." Haymitch said through gritted teeth, his eyes glazed over, his gray Seam iris' nearly hidden by his huge pupils.

I relax trying to ease the tension inside me and then it happened. Everything froze then went in fast-forward. I clung to Haymitch for dear life, my body was on fire. But I wasn't a mutt anymore. I was like a mythological phoenix rising from the ashes of a tragedy.

Haymitch let out a gasp, thrust once more into me, then collapsed on to of me, his body glistening in sweat.

We lay like this for a while, I lost track of all time.

"Katniss?" he murmured, almost sounding half asleep.

"We...we made love, I think."

"Love? That word sounds so foreign, yet. You are right. We made love. Because I love you. With every fiber of my being, I love you, Katniss."

I closed my eyes and let his words wash over me.

_I love you too, Haymitch. _


End file.
